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Saturday May 17,2008

Dreams of a Friend Departed

by Deb Sims, MS,RNCS,LCSW

Deb,

Then, in the early morning on January 16, my best friend called and told me a friend died. He was the other deceased boy's best friend and somewhat of a "replacement" brother for the other boy. But the strange thing is that he also died in a car accident by hitting a tree. Those two and two other boys were the best of friends. And one of them saw the wreck happen and tried to help as best he could until the ambulance arrived. But instead, he had to watch his best friend die in his arms. The same one who recently died had to watch the one who held him almost die in a severe crash when he flipped his truck nine times down a steep hill. It is so ironic that I can't help but wonder who's next.

Dear Reader,

You are correct; this is very ironic. And, unfortunately, I have no real answer for you. Sometimes, when we dream something like this, it is our subconscious way of working out or expressing our worst fears. In those cases, it doesn't mean it will happen, but that on some level you know that the people involved could be reckless enough that something could happen. Or perhaps traumatized enough by what they experienced that they may be distracted or even deeply depressed.

Other times, our dreams are a way of God allowing the person to reassure us that they are somewhere else and okay. Your fear is very natural. When someone close dies, we wonder about our own mortality and that of those we love. We ome face to face with the fact that there is an end to this existence. This is where faith comes in. People who believe that there is something after this existence, and qho have a solid support system of friends or a strong sense of spirituality, seem to do better with the grieving process.